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At the end of the event participants submit to the organizers a list of who they would like to provide their contact information to.If there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties.The curtains are drawn against the glitter of Times Square and soft lighting filters through paper ceiling lanterns. Berkley asks each of us to fill in the blank: “Eye-gazing is ____.” We make our way around the circle. Normally I love people, unless they’re very loud or insist on playing air guitar. When I surrender to a full-on stare with Arjuna, I don’t know what to focus on. Although I’m accustomed to locking eyes during a conversation, something about silent, sustained eye contact is just so … I laugh, and then compose myself, and then laugh again. Berkley stops the music and tells the men to stand and move one seat to the left. Eye-gazing parties—in essence, silent speed-dating events—were invented a few years ago by a salsa teacher named Michael Ellsberg, who later wrote The Power of Eye Contact: Your Secret for Success in Business, Love, and Life. I say, “exciting.” Others say “scary,” “intimate” and “personal.” A guy in a T-shirt, jeans and a name tag that reads “Christopher” says, “amazingly hot.” Christopher is clearly the youngest person in the room (most appear to be late-20s and up). When I speak with someone, even someone I’ve just met, I don’t find eye contact challenging. It’s a way of holding each other without physically holding each other. Katalin Gothard, a scientist who studies the neural basis of emotion, eye contact is used for fighting, predation and attraction (hence pick-up artists throwing eye-gazing parties)—and maintaining it kicks the autonomic nervous system into gear. Eventually I worry that it’s more awkward to let Arjuna stare at my eyelids, so I open my eyes. Arjuna nods at me, cool as a cowboy tipping his hat. By my fourth eye-gaze, the urge to laugh has passed. Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process of dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people.Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish Ha Torah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry.
Usually advance registration is required for speed dating events.I was in the dark downstairs area of a tiny downtown club. The lights of the club turned on in that brutal, almost painful way in which they do when the clock strikes 4 am in the great city of New York. My friend stumbled over to me with half-opened, slanted, inebriated eyes and slurred that she needed to be taken home. It was a massive f*cking tease that left me weak in the knees and begging for MORE. It's so rare to have really good eye sex in this dark digital age. Are we so consumed with our phones, hell-bent with the latest laptop, knee-deep in a slew of dating apps — that we've shied away from eye contact, period? I love feeling nervous — it shakes me out of my comfort zone. It takes a confident human being to directly gaze into your wide-set doe eyes and undress you. When someone has the ability to seduce you without a touch, without a cheap word — just from the intensity of his or her stare, it's hot. She identifies as a "mascara lesbian" and lives beyond her means on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. She's consumed by style, sexuality, women, words, fashion and feelings.The air inside sharply contrasted with the air outside. I felt insatiable, and fueled with the desire to soak in every second of this exploded moment. I felt like her eyes were spelling out all of my secrets, desires and wicked fantasies. Full-frontal eye contact is so direly rare in the Internet generation. We're spending so much time disconnecting and disengaging from the populous by staying in the safe haven of our laptops. When we're feeling overcome with sweeping sensations of unabashed lust, it's an all-consuming, powerful feeling. All of a sudden, they're in total control of you as this person teases you with his or her pressing eyes. When we're turned on, there's always a healthy dose of unease. It leaves us wondering how amazing this person would be in bed. She identifies as a "mascara lesbian" and lives beyond her means on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.Who was this mysterious creature whom I had indirectly made eyes with? I took a sip of my vodka soda, exhaled and averted my eyes upward.
Aren't we searching for entities with high self-esteem who aren't afraid of their sexual prowess? What's sexier than someone who isn't afraid to look you dead in the eye and have his or her way with you.“This is not a romantic experience,” Christina Berkley says, looking around the circle at the 23 of us who signed up for her eye-gazing party. We line up our folding chairs in two facing rows—men in one, women in the other.